{"id":1733,"date":"2025-12-08T08:28:59","date_gmt":"2025-12-08T08:28:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/badvibes.live\/?p=1733"},"modified":"2025-12-08T08:28:59","modified_gmt":"2025-12-08T08:28:59","slug":"my-honest-review-of-the-hoxtons-hideout-room-that-has-no-windows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badvibes.live\/?p=1733","title":{"rendered":"My honest review of The Hoxton\u2019s \u2018hideout room\u2019 that has no windows"},"content":{"rendered":"

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In a new series, Rooms Without Views, our travel experts spend the night in windowless\u00a0hotel rooms<\/a>\u00a0to see if they\u2019re worth sacrificing\u00a0natural light<\/a>.<\/p>\n

As my friend and I lingered over our empty plates, we knew the time had come. \u2018I suppose we better get back to our crypt then,\u2019 she sighed.<\/p>\n

We were staying at\u00a0The Hoxton<\/a>\u00a0in\u00a0London<\/a>\u2019s Shepherd\u2019s Bush, but not in one of the 228 rooms above ground \u2014 we were in the basement.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever sipped a cocktail at a Hoxton bar, or put a shift in at their co-working spaces, you\u2019ve probably wondered what it might be like to stay at one of the 18 boutique hotels across the globe.<\/p>\n

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Londoners in particular are obsessed with the chain \u2014 perhaps because it originated right here in Shoreditch. So, when the chance to stay in a Hoxton came across my desk, I jumped at it.<\/p>\n

Except, there was a disclaimer: I would be sleeping in a windowless hotel room, as part of new\u00a0Metro<\/strong>\u2018s new mini-series, reviewing London\u2019s rooms without views.<\/p>\n

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\u2018I don\u2019t think it\u2019ll be an issue,\u2019 I\u2019d confidently stated to my bestie, when roping her in to to be my plus one. \u2018It\u2019s the Hoxton, after all.\u2019<\/p>\n

It won\u2019t surprise you to hear that, of course, I hadn\u2019t quite appreciated what I was getting myself into.<\/p>\n

\u2018Where, exactly, are my exits?\u2019<\/h2>\n

As the lift doors opened on the lower ground floor, the hubbub of the Hoxton\u2019s lively reception area felt like a world away.<\/p>\n

There was a distinct sense of being in the bowels of the ship. It was eerily quiet, not helped by several doors with \u2018nothing to see here\u2019 written across them.<\/p>\n

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When I stepped inside my \u2018Hideout\u2019 room, I did so as I imagine a mobster might when walking into a crowded restaurant. Where, exactly, are my exits?<\/p>\n

The first thing that struck me was the size. At just 156sqft, these rooms are, unsurprisingly, the hotel\u2019s smallest. Space for just a bed, two side tables and a small clothes rail.<\/p>\n

But, you\u2019re paying for what you get. Prices for an overnight midweek stay in January start at \u00a3170.10 for a Hideout, a steal compared to the Roomy (the largest two-person room), which has a starting price tag of \u00a3269.10.<\/p>\n

As this is the Hoxton, however, size is no reason to sacrifice style. It\u2019s all Art Deco vibes in earthy hues, with cosy lighting and bespoke statement furniture.<\/p>\n

But my room was missing those little luxurious touches. Complimentary toiletries were sparse (no toothpaste) while the minibar was stocked with just water and milk.<\/p>\n

But the part of the room I just couldn\u2019t take my eyes off?<\/p>\n

The fake sky-light. A sort of frosted plastic covered what I\u2019m guessing was an LED strip light, intended to give the illusion of natural light coming from above.<\/p>\n

All it did for me though, was remind me that fresh air was a few flights of stairs away, and in this subterranean spot, no one would hear me scream\u2026<\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s oysters at Seabird or tirimasu at Il Bambini, dining at a Hoxton never fails to disappoint.<\/p>\n

The same can be said for Chet\u2019s, the Thai-American restaurant at Hoxton Shepherd\u2019s Bush.<\/p>\n

The vibes were impeccable \u2014 buzzing even on a Wednesday night \u2014 and the waiting staff (much like anyone I came across wearing a Hox t-shirt) were lovely.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re not sure what Thai-American fusion is, think a hot chicken sandwich with Thai glaze, sides of sticky wings and \u2018tingling\u2019 onion (essentially fancy onion rings), as well as various curry and noodle dishes.<\/p>\n

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The hero offering is their Pineapple Rice \u2014 an egg fried rice with peanuts, eggs, onion, and Nam Pla Prik, all served with ceremony in half a pineapple.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s certainly an attention-grabber. Midway through our meal, a fellow diner arrived and asked if he could try the half-eaten dish that sat on our table, before ordering it for himself.<\/p>\n

Yes, I was alarmed by a total stranger picking up my fork and eating the food off my plate, but I kind of respect him for it. And yes, he ordered his own, too.<\/p>\n

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Hot and bothered<\/h2>\n

Collapsing into my bed, slightly pissed on Vinho Verde, I felt optimistic. With no noise and no light, I\u2019d be in a booze-fuelled slumber in no-time.<\/p>\n

And while I did indeed fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, I woke up in the wee hours, to find my bestie also lying awake.<\/p>\n

\u2018What if there\u2019s a fire?\u2019 she whispered. Meanwhile, my main concern was escaping an axe-wielding maniac who\u2019d somehow chosen the Hoxton for his next victim.<\/p>\n

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The truth is, of course, both of our concerns were completely unfounded.<\/p>\n

Hoxton hotels have robust fire safety measures in place across all of their properties, and as far as I knew, there was no killer on the loose.<\/p>\n

And yet, I couldn\u2019t shake the feeling that we were a bit\u00a0too<\/em>\u00a0out of the way down here.<\/p>\n

Opening a window, or simply glancing out onto the streets of London might have helped quell our nerves. Instead, we closed our eyes, and tried not to dream about being buried alive.<\/p>\n

My verdict<\/h2>\n

Would I stay in the Hoxton again? 1000% yes.<\/p>\n

Would I stay in a windowless room? Honestly, probably not.<\/p>\n

But, I\u2019ll caveat that my own tolerance for enclosed spaces may be very different to yours.<\/p>\n

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If needing to know your escape route (yes, I\u2019m in therapy) isn\u2019t a huge cause for concern, then you\u2019ll probably have a lovely time hunkered down in a Hideout room.<\/p>\n

For those without an ounce of claustrophobia, I imagine it\u2019s a distraction-free spot for a perfect night\u2019s sleep. You might even find it romantic if you\u2019re staying with that special someone.<\/p>\n

Plus, you get all the fun of staying in a Hoxton (namely, sipping cocktails into the wee hours at Chet\u2019s, without navigating The Tube afterwards), but for a fraction of the usual price.<\/p>\n

For me though, there\u2019ll be no repeat performance. Perhaps it\u2019s the fact I\u2019ve spent nearly a decade sleeping to the soundtrack of London\u2019s sirens and late-night revellers \u2014 but next time, I\u2019m going to need a window.<\/p>\n

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  In a new series, Rooms Without Views, our travel experts spend the night in windowless\u00a0hotel rooms\u00a0to see if they\u2019re worth sacrificing\u00a0natural light. As my friend and I lingered over our empty plates, we knew the time had come. \u2018I suppose we better get back to our crypt then,\u2019 she sighed. We were staying at\u00a0The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t