{"id":876,"date":"2025-11-23T19:24:31","date_gmt":"2025-11-23T19:24:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/badvibes.live\/?p=876"},"modified":"2025-11-23T19:24:31","modified_gmt":"2025-11-23T19:24:31","slug":"i-let-my-kids-skip-school-when-they-feel-like-it-duvet-days-are-important","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badvibes.live\/?p=876","title":{"rendered":"I let my kids skip school when they feel like it \u2014 duvet days are important"},"content":{"rendered":"

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For years, hitting 100% attendance was something schoolchildren were told to aspire to, with parents and teachers keeping close tabs on sick days.<\/p>\n

But post-Covid, there seems to have been a shift in the way\u00a0mums<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0dads<\/a>\u00a0are thinking about time off, and many parents are now allowing their kids to take \u2018duvet days\u2019 in the name of\u00a0mental health<\/a>.<\/p>\n

New research has revealed three quarters of\u00a0parents<\/a>\u00a0(75%) have let their kids to miss school because they were feeling emotional, tired, or simply didn\u2019t want to go.<\/p>\n

Among the 2,000 parents surveyed by Perspectus (on behalf of education event Bett), 40% said they were fine with their children having more than one duvet day, while the average number taken over the last year was six.<\/p>\n

Many claimed these days off had improved the behaviour of their kids \u2013 something mum-of-three Melissa Sagir Amos has noticed first-hand.<\/p>\n

According to the\u00a0soul mentor<\/a>\u00a0and spiritual psychotherapist from\u00a0Hertfordshire<\/a>, not only does this help build her little ones\u2019 sense of \u2018autonomy\u2019, they\u2019re \u2018happier\u2019 and complain less when they have the choice to stay home.<\/p>\n

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\u2018It\u2019s something I feel quite strongly about because of my work,\u2019 Melissa tells\u00a0Metro<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u2018\u2018I help people with their mental health and spiritual development and kids don\u2019t really get that same kind of support.<\/p>\n

\u2018Children have things thrown on them everyday \u2013 they\u2019re told where to be and what to wear and what to do all of the time and sometimes they just want to have a day with their mum or a day when they just don\u2019t want to be at school.\u2019<\/p>\n

In her view, it\u2019s important to let kids \u2018know they have choices and that they can listen to their body and not rush around.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sometimes we just want to stay in bed and cancel all our plans, and sometimes they want to do the same,\u2019 Melissa adds.<\/p>\n

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The 44-year-old has two children in primary school, and one in high school, and says her eldest doesn\u2019t feel the need to take days off, but her younger ones do.<\/p>\n

But while she\u2019s willing to let them choose to a point, she does have some rules about it.<\/p>\n

Melissa explains: \u2018It\u2019s not every week, it\u2019s maybe once a term that they take a day off. I\u2019m quite firm on it, so they know they can\u2019t take advantage.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s important to me that their attendance stays up, but as they\u2019re never late and they\u2019re rarely off sick, I feel like they should be rewarded for that and they are aware that it\u2019s a priviledge.\u2019<\/p>\n

When it comes to the school, Melissa says she doesn\u2019t lie to teachers about why her kids aren\u2019t at their desks.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t pretend that they\u2019re sick, I just say they\u2019re feeling under the\u00a0weather<\/a>\u00a0and need to be at home that day, which is true,\u2019 she says. \u2018They\u2019re not feeling like coming in.\u2019<\/p>\n

As for how they spend these days off, sitting glued to their tablets all day watching\u00a0YouTube<\/a>\u00a0is a no-no. Instead, Melissa tries to do something with the children, like watching a movie, getting outside for a walk, or grabbing lunch.<\/p>\n

\u2018I ask them what they want to do, as I want them to feel like they\u2019ve got some control over their life,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n

\u2018They\u2019re happier having that choice and it\u2019s stopped the constant battles every morning \u2013 I\u2019ve noticed my son now skips into the kitchen after a day off and there\u2019s no moaning about school.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Becky Goddard-Hill also allowed her daughter to take time off school as needed while she was doing her A-Levels.<\/p>\n

When she saw her teen struggling with stress, the mum, from Nottingham, advised her to spend the day in bed watching TV, doing \u2018absolutely nothing\u2019 to recuperate.<\/p>\n

\u2018The first time she took a duvet day, it was my suggestion,\u2019 Becky tells us. \u2018I felt she really needed it as school is really stressful for kids and I didn\u2019t want her to crash and burn.\u2019<\/p>\n

She continues: \u2018Loads of businesses give their staff wellbeing days now and mental health is seen to be just as important as physical health.<\/p>\n

\u2018When kids are doing exams, there\u2019s so much pressure, they don\u2019t have space to breathe or think.\u2019<\/p>\n

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Becky says she\u2019s a firm believer in \u2018resilience\u2019 and people doing tough things, but still believes it\u2019s important for parents to let their children rest.<\/p>\n

Still, she does have one caveat for other mums and dads thinking of doing the same: communicate.<\/p>\n

\u2018Before I agreed to let my daughter have any other days off, I checked that there wasn\u2019t another reason she didn\u2019t want to be at school,\u2019 says the 54-year-old.<\/p>\n

\u2018You need to make sure they\u2019re not scared and avoiding a bigger problem, like bullying or falling behind on work, because if they are you could end up with a pattern of them refusing to go to school.<\/p>\n

\u2018For my daughter, it was more that she was exhausted and overwhelmed, she just needed to rest.\u2019<\/p>\n

What does an expert think?<\/h2>\n

MBACP counsellor and the founder of\u00a0TherapEast<\/a>, Katie Rose, wants to remind parents that school is a \u2018really good\u2019 place for kids to be.<\/p>\n

\u2018School gives children a routine and socialisation,\u2019 she tells\u00a0Metro<\/strong>. \u2018They also have the opportunity to learn new things, and it serves as a distraction from all the other stuff they spend time doing, like looking at social media.\u2019<\/p>\n

However, the expert does agree with both mums that a break can be \u2018really important\u2019 when they\u2019re overwhelmed.<\/p>\n

She explains: \u2018We put so much pressure on them with exams, revision, attending every lesson and behaving well, so it\u2019s understandable that it can become too much.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018If you give them one day off,\u00a0 they are more likely to be able to engage the rest of the time.\u2019<\/p>\n

Katie warns too, that structure is crucial for the duvet day, stressing that kids use their time well rather than just\u00a0rotting in bed<\/a>\u00a0and doomscrolling.<\/p>\n

\u2018Make sure they know that they can have a certain number of duvet days every term and that they\u2019re using those days well,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n

\u2018They need to relax, eat well, and sleep well, not be endlessly on phones and showing off to their friends that they didn\u2019t come into school. That creates the wrong environment.<\/p>\n

\u2018Instead we need to say to children that they can have the day off, but it\u2019s about rest and recovery.\u2019<\/p>\n

And before you tell your children they can have the extra time off, be sure to really think things through.<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t just say yes out of desperation and exhaustion as a parent,\u2019 adds Katie. \u2018This is about your relationship with your child. You need to come up with a proper strategy for this to show them you are able to help manage their mental health.\u2019<\/p>\n

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  For years, hitting 100% attendance was something schoolchildren were told to aspire to, with parents and teachers keeping close tabs on sick days. But post-Covid, there seems to have been a shift in the way\u00a0mums\u00a0and\u00a0dads\u00a0are thinking about time off, and many parents are now allowing their kids to take \u2018duvet days\u2019 in the name […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":882,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t