Regular sex has myriad benefits, from reducing stress to boosting your immune system.
But it turns out, we’re not all reaping these rewards.
In 2023, the latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles found that, in the UK, 16% of men and 22% of women aged between 16 and 74 were sexually inactive.
A-listers are talking more candidly about abstaining too. ‘I haven’t had sex in over three years,’ Khloé Kardashian revealed during the premiere of the latest season of The Kardashians.
‘I saw a meme, or a quote, or something, and it was like, ‘Why are you so happy?’ And the person said, “Because I’m not dating.” And I’m like, yes, I actually feel great with that energy right now,’ she added.
On last year’s series of I’m A Celebrity, Tulisa Contostavlos also revealed she’d been celibate for over three years, adding, ‘I’m not an overly sexualised person.’
Clearly, we don’t all need to be going at it 24/7 to feel satisfied. There’s no shame in taking a break — but what impact does it have on your body if you choose to take a prolonged dry spell?
What does ‘sex’ actually mean?
Sex can be defined in whatever way works best for you.
‘As a society, we tend to equate sex with penetration, but definitions of celibacy may mean that all sexual contact with a partner is being avoided,’ Dr Angela Wright, clinical sexologist at The Portland Hospital, explains.
‘Equally, it may not mean a break from all sensuality or intimacy with a partner, or from our own solo sex habits.
‘Being mindful and conscious about what kind of touch you want – and don’t want, both within relationships and on your own, is an important part of defining and holding your physical and emotional boundaries.’
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Improved emotional wellbeing
First up, as Khloe claims, it is possible that celibacy can bring about a positive new era of personal growth.
Annabelle Knight, Lovehoney’s sex and relationships expert, is an advocate for these ’emotional benefits.’
She says: ‘Celibacy can give you the space to reconnect with your body and your boundaries, and to understand what you actually want from intimacy.
‘For many people, it’s a time of rediscovery — focusing on self-care, confidence, and pleasure in other forms, from solo exploration to emotional connection.
‘Everyone’s needs and timelines are different, and periods of celibacy can be really positive for some people.’
Vaginal dryness
It’s not all roses, though. Dr Bhavini Shah from LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor tells Metro that women can end up experiencing vaginal dryness tied to abstaining from intimacy, which can make penetration more uncomfortable if and when you do return to sex after some time away.
‘This can lead to a condition known as dyspareunia, where women can feel pain just before, during, or after sex,’ Dr Bhavini explains.
Dr Bhavini adds: ‘Dyspareunia can also be caused by several other conditions, from hormonal changes and menopause to infections from STIs and UTIs.’
Spontaneous erections
‘Spontaneous or nocturnal erections are completely normal, and they happen whether you’re sexually active or not,’ says Annabelle. They’re your body’s natural maintenance system, keeping blood flow healthy and tissue responsive.’
She adds: ‘During celibacy, they can actually be a reassuring sign that everything’s functioning as it should. They’re not necessarily linked to sexual frustration or unmet desire; they’re just a physiological process, much like stretching your muscles after a long day.’
Those with penises may find that ‘spontaneous erections’ occur less frequently owing to a reduction in sexual activity, but she adds: ‘These effects are temporary and can return once sexual activity resumes.’
Changes in your libido
You might assume that if you haven’t had sex for a while, you’re going to be horny at all times. But actually, the opposite can be true.
‘You might notice a lower libido if you’re not sexually active, or you may find your desire fluctuates in waves,’ says Annabelle.
But she explains that the act of having sex isn’t what kickstarts (or satisfies) your libido.
Factors like ‘mood, body image, relationship satisfaction, and even how safe or relaxed you feel can impact your libido levels – often more than the last time you had sex.
‘For some people, periods of celibacy can actually bring greater awareness of what triggers or suppresses their desire, because they’re tuning into those emotional and physical cues more consciously.
‘You could be celibate for years and still feel sudden surges of desire because your brain and body are wired to respond to stimulation, fantasy, and emotional cues.’
Giving your immune system a break
While the same can be true of having frequent sex, taking a little break from it can also give your immune system a bit of a breather.
As psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist Silva Neves previously told Metro, sex is thought to boost our immune system, referencing one study which showed that people who had more frequent sex had more immunoglobulin, a blood protein that forms part of the immune system.
